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Prolix, a soothsayer from Asterix and Obelix

Pollster: It’s not us, it’s you

Jason Norwood-Young
Jason Norwood-Young

Another election, another disaster for pollsters who could have done better predicting from the swoop of the swallows than the responses from the American public. But the problem isn’t the pollsters, claims chief Haruspex at Ntrailz, Matthew Dessem: it’s us. We just didn’t understand the prophets.

“But when I wrote “Joe Biden will be declared President of the United States in a landslide before the sun sets over Mauna Loa on Election Day, which is to say before 5:54 P.M. Hawaii Standard Time, Nov. 3, 2020,” I was talking about a range of probabilities, not making a definite prediction. When I went on MSNBC to announce that Ntrailz’s Sacred Rooster had pecked the grains covering the letters “β,” “Ι,” and “Δ,” and excitedly told Rachel Maddow that this “absolutely guarantees a Biden blowout,” I assumed anyone with a grade school background in alectryomancy would know I was speaking figuratively. And when I tweeted, “JOE BIDEN CANNOT LOSE! 50 STATE SWEEP! ZERO VOTES FOR TRUMP NATIONWIDE! BET YOUR HOUSE ON IT!!!” I was doing cocaine. “

Chief Haruspex at Ntrailz, Matthew Dessem (Slate)
Jason Norwood-Young
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